I wasn't ready. At least, I sure didn't feel like I was. I took the test while he was at work and felt numb the rest of the day. When he got home from work, I handed him that tiny piece of cheap pink plastic and for the first time ever, I burst into tears from the extra line.

We knew what had happened. This wasn't some miracle conception by any means. But still, it was the first time we weren't actually trying and wanting to be pregnant. He was thrilled. Me not so much. For much of that pregnancy a spirit of fear and anxiety hounded me. Fear of how I would handle another baby when I felt like I was already drowning with my four, fear of the pain of labor, fear of breaking in the physical trial that is pregnancy, fear of having to lay down my life yet again. It was a huge battle to choose joy in the face of that anxiety and fear that surrounded so much of those months, one which I lost more often than not.

Looking back it's almost laughable. That baby was everything our family needed and more. He brought an incomparable joy that still brings tears to my eyes. He has been pure gift to each one of us. God knew. He always does. He knew that this baby was exactly who and what our family needed. That pregnancy and birth was a profound lesson in trust beyond any of my own understanding. His life has been an opportunity to see in the flesh how much better God's plans are for us than anything we could plan on our own. That experience allowed me to grow in a spirit of abandonment and joy to whatever God wants. This current pregnancy has been so much different. If anything, I have more on my plate, more work to do, more obligations to fulfill, and more with which He has entrusted me. And yet, my spirit rejoices. Even within the bouts of wicked nausea and fatigue, I know this is all for our good and His glory. The fear is gone. More than anything I simply feel awe that He has given us another gift.

Several weeks before that birth, someone shared with me a quote from Saint Francis de Sales, one which I'd like to share with you today on his feast day. (I think it was a reader who shared it, though I can't remember who...If it was you, thank you!) It was exactly what I needed during that time and spoke right to my heart as I wrestled with that fear and anxiety. I even printed it out as an affirmation to pray on and focus me during labor and birth. And when the time came for what I somehow just knew intuitively would be a difficult birth, He came through and He truly did give me a supernatural peace and the strength to bear it. While it's certainly appropriate for labor and birth, it is incredibly powerful for anyone struggling with fear or anxiety for any reason.

Here is the quote:


This quote as well as dozens of Scripture quotes and saint quotes appropriate for labor and birth are included in the Appendix of my book Made for This: The Catholic Mom's Guide to Birth. It can be bought here through my Amazon affiliate link.